When the Maid of Honor is Not Made of Money

• Brides, detail your expectations for your attendants early so they'll know exactly what you expect of them. They may have some serious soul-searching to do.
• Brides, please be sensitive to your friends' finances. You don't have to choose outrageously expensive attendant's dresses, nor must you have an over-the-top bridal shower, a destination bachelorette party or a Jack-and-Jill party. Talk with them. Be willing to compromise and explore other ideas.
• Maids of honor and bridesmaids, if your bride-to-be friend is expecting everything mentioned in the previous tip and your pocketbook can't handle it, talk to her and be honest about your financial situation. If she's truly a friend she'll back off on her expectations, offer to help pay for the big parties she wants or free you from your obligation as her attendant.
• Share the celebration expenses. Most maids of honor believe the obligation of throwing the bridal shower and bachelorette parties is theirs, though that's not necessarily true anymore. Divide the costs of the events among all the bride's attendants.
• Maids, don't forget. It's also OK to say no. Just do it early.